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When I learn to read the directions, I will succeed.

May 25, 2010
by

It is with great tragedy that I am consistent in one thing. I don’t read instructions. I put together furniture and kids toys by looking at the pictures, which often results in catastrophe or renders the reproduction of the thing I’m building. Even knowing this flaw of mine, I continue to do it… over and over and over.

How does this relate to my success of ABSolution or lack thereof? I skimmed the book (after actually reading the introductory pages) and came across some workouts that grabbed me by my shirt collars and said “look at me. i’m the one you want!!”  What could I say.. I jumped at the chance to do 100 @ 1:00. With proper illustrations, I tend to be even more sure of myself as I lunge over the edge of reason and skip the “minor details” that are laid out to instruct me. The picture shows the author laid on her back, legs up in the air at the 1:00 position, the number 100 ringing in my ear and I’m off!!! I’m doing 100 crunches with my legs at 1:00.

Burning. Blazing. Fire. Inferno. That is what is happening to my stomach at about 40 reps. Lord in Heaven, are you kidding me? A hundred of these Swen? REALLY??? I burn my way through the rest and decide to recheck the book. Glimpse into the unknown world of instructions and I discover that thing. The one that makes you have to take apart bookshelves to ensure I get that “extra” piece into the equation. Hmm.. there is it, in black & white. It’s not actually a crunch. It’s a “hold your head and shoulder blades off the mat”. Not a crunch. THEN, “move hands and elbows up and down . turn palms up to palms downs after 5 reps” AND, here’s the kicker — REPEAT 10 TIMES FOR A “TOTAL” OF 100!!!  Blasted. I’m an idiot. Here is what the instructions may have said based on my “I don’t read instructions method” — legs at 1:o0, do 100 crunches. This was not the exercise, and I’ve got sore muscles today for my inability to read the 5 EASY steps included for me.

Tomorrow I will READ before I execute false judgement. I will determine that Swen is (A) not out to kill me with unreasonable demands and (B) able to lay out a wonderful, easy to read instruction manual (in english no less) that takes me 5-10 extra seconds to digest. At least I’ll be doing the right thing and my stomach will thank me for the unnecessary angst.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. carrie-lynn permalink
    May 25, 2010 2:23 pm

    This is hilarious and also the lesson I continually need to learn, myself!

Trackbacks

  1. So…I’m Flexible (Not Literally) « ABSolution! Blog

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