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Reinventing my thought process.

June 14, 2010

The classroom bell has rung. Take your seats everyone… it’s another lesson in life to further prove that this old dog can learn new tricks.

My old motto/mentality that I worked hard to achieve a merit badge for was this,  “WOMEN – stay off that scale!!!!”  In a nutshell I’d preach several things:  Don’t keep track of your weight. It’s evil. It’s placed into our lives to make us mental about our bodies.

While I still believe that there are times in our fitness & food journeys for a scale to be hidden away from us… the evil head it once reared no longer holds my grip of frustration. It also has shed its rotten skin of recommendations to others.

What I always feared was that I’d lose sight of my true goal. The achievement of having a good balance of fitness and laziness, healthy eating and days of gluttony. The scale was NOT going to tell me what my perfect size was! So, starting in 2005, I ignored the scale. I had a baby, shed the weight of aforementioned baby quickly and I was underway to being comfortable in my new “had a baby” body. I resigned to the fact that my shape had changed and I now was a different size. I was still “lean” so what did it matter? I could eat pretty much what I wanted and worked out on a limited basis. I was always active anyway, so who really cared if  I head into the actual gym and sweat some?  I sure didn’t. I was happy being “me” and the world certainly told me that I could be whatever size and that was just fine.

Fast forward to 2009. I rummage, find and dust off the scale. Hell bent to see where I’m at. I can’t be far off from the number that I usually hover around. I shed my clothing and reveal a number I would have NEVER thought I could see. A number that all but made me catch my breath and look back in the mirror to finally SEE what the scale was telling me. I first began to notice that I cleverly stopped looking at myself for all 360 degrees. I stopped at the front and center and that was comfortable. But, now.. now I saw for the first time what my scale has been trying to tell me from under the sink. Hidden. This was not me. This was a body I no longer recognized, but became comfortable with. Something I could chalk up to having a baby, or living without having to kill myself counting calories. Calories. How many calories have I been consuming to get here? The mental flashback zaps me and I realize in that moment that the scale was never my enemy. Only I can achieve that status.

Reigned in and ready to rock, I began a journey that ended up with a shedding of over 15 pounds. Acheiveable, only because I was willing to step on that scale and let it help me to have a more disciplined monitoring of my day to day size. Gradually I noticed many other changes.. the aches and pains gone, the insomnia more manageable, more energy, better fitting clothing (and NEW clothing!) and a 360 degree view that I was finally proud of.

It is of grave importance that I tell you it is still unacceptable to be a pawn to your scale. To fall victim to a constant falling number that the world thinks you should be. I’m not sure what that size is for you.. but start with one number and see how that feels for you when you achieve it. Often times, we have more to lose than we ever thought – but the wait, the work and the discipline is so worth the health benefits. Does that mean you cannot eat cake when the party has it, or not have a drink in the company of friends.. of course not! We have but one life, so when the moment comes – go with it and knock on the door of the scale the next day to get back on track. A wise friend once told me.. as long as you’re making 90% of your food selections good ones each day, you’ve got another 10% that can teeter.

Get on the scale. See yourself clearly. Be really honest with what YOU want. Set goals. Achieve them and reassess. Hug your scale, but don’t let it sucker punch you back. Be patient.. and do your 10% teeter every now and again.

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